“Curves Not Cul-de-Sacs” was initially meant for another blog site. As soon as I sent it, a woman told me “You know you’re going to catch hell for this, right?” There were certain things I didn’t expect, but much of it I did.
When I read the post to a group of men and women, a few of them pointed out 2 parts of the post that I hadn’t thought about, that they felt were the reason many women felt the entire post was offensive:
“Looking like the Michelin Man is not sexy or cute.”
“It’s hard to hold on to you if your stomach is in the way.”
I understand why people would take offense to those parts. I apologize for that. I see how that was harsh. I could go back and erase those lines, but I feel like I would be cheating and wouldn’t be owning up to it.
What surprised me were the levels to which women saw things I never said. Women I personally know who thought I was speaking in a tone that I don’t speak in.
A woman told me when she was younger she was rail thin, but her brother called her fat to the point where she believed it. This created a skewed vision in her mind of her body image. In essence, she told me when I wrote that piece, it would’ve been safer to think that most women who read it have a body image issue. That women, especially Black women, live with a cloud over their head everyday that tells them how they must be, and even the most beautiful of women may think I’m pointing at them. I don’t think anyone has ever taught me how to address a woman with that level of psychological oppression in a concerned way. If anything, I’ve been told how to exploit it.
When I said I’m talking about obesity, a lot of women included themselves, thinking that the pictures I posted were actually THEM. I remember in college me and my friends made a point to tell Black women we knew that they were beautiful. Nearly all of them said they knew we were sincere, but they didn’t believe it themselves when they looked in the mirror. I don’t know if it’s healthy for me to assume that every woman I encounter has some kind of body image issue by default. If this is so, then where do we go from here?
I appreciate your writing talent and your uncanny ability to make clear, concise points. I agree with a lot of your unique views. Thank you.
Good writers are very difficult to find. You have done a great job in finding such an asset and given the freedom to express different views on this interesting subject.