Where The Boys Are

I’m a single woman living in one of the most desirable places in the country. Complaining about living in a city that is a magnet for the most beautiful people would just sound a tad ridiculous. But after two years in La La land, I’m still left asking, “Where are the boys at?”

Any one of my friends will tell you that I have more dates in a month than most people have in a year. But 50 first dates are tiring. It begins to feel more like a second job than a relaxing evening enjoying a member of the opposite sex. Chemistry is a must! I’m all for equal opportunity but if the first date leaves me yawning I won’t be subjecting myself to another. So what is a Mid-Western girl to do? I’ve devised a plan that many single ladies may benefit from.
  • Take inventory– Many of us have friends or associates that would make great mates in the long run. Keep and open-mind and go for the one that makes your heart skip a beat.
  • Eyes wide open– Watch who is watching you. Be observant. My grandmother used to say, “Smile, you never know who is looking.” Smiling will make you more approachable and guys will be less intimidated to say something to you.
  • Save the chit-chat– Talking on the phone is counter productive. Most people won’t interrupt someone who is on the phone.
  • Eye contact– You can’t make eye contact with your stunna shades on. Unless you are in direct sunlight go without the shades and make eyes at someone you caught looking.
  • Get a Coach- Sometimes we need a little push. Find a girlfriend that is outgoing and uninhibited to be your wing-woman. A good coach will always set you up for the win.
  • Don’t travel in packs– Rolling 10 deep is going to leave you all single. Three girls is plenty. Grab your besties and meet everyone else there. Most guys are not going to approach a school bus of girls.
  • Create opportunity– More often than not, guys are looking for the opportunity to present itself for them to talk to you. So make it easy for them. If you see a guy you like, casually do things in his general area. Glance at him long enough for him to notice but don’t stare. If he doesn’t say anything after you set it up for him, he’s not interested.
  • Be adventurous– Join an online dating site like Match.com or eHarmony. It just might be the best money you have ever spent.
  • Get Gumption! Forget the rules and go after the one you want. (I have to work on this one) Sitting back on the sidelines while Tanisha is sashaying over to the cute guy with the dimples will get you nowhere. Something as simple as “hello” can be just the opening he needs to seal the deal.
  • Get used to rejection– Dating is contact sport. You have to be willing to get pushed down and get back up again. If one date doesn’t pan out…HIS LOSS!!! Keep it moving! It’s a numbers game that you have to play in order to win.
  • Travel– Airports are a great place to practice. You have a captive audience, what could be better than that? Go sit at the bar and buy yourself a drink. You have a built-in opening line, “So where are you headed?” If all goes well, the next time you will be jet-setting together.
  • Stay out of the club– It’s not that you can’t find love in the club but the chances are slim. The environment is not conducive to conversing.
  • Find Man caves– Go to places you know men will be. Football starts back tonight so I hope you have gathered your girls are hitting the nearest sports bar. Try going to Best Buy on Tuesday (new music comes out every Tuesday.) You’ll be sure to find some good-looking music lovers there.
  • Stay ready– Don’t leave out of the house wearing old sweats with bleach stains. Have a default outfit in mind. Something you can grab quickly that is comfortable, casual but still fly. Same goes for hair and makeup. Slicking your hair back in an intentionally messy bun with your daytime makeup will be perfect for an impromptu meeting with Prince Charming.


Mikki Bey is a Los Angeles-based makeup artist who believes in the power of the universe to bring her all the desires of her heart. Fearless, determined and capable – she’s a bad mamajama! She can be reached at mikki@mikkibey.com.


One Reply to “Where The Boys Are”

  1. Some good suggestions here. I know that when I was single I always preferred to talk to women who looked like they’d be interested in having a conversation. Being confident is good, but being too standoffish keeps a lot of good guys away.

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