This past week I surprised my husband with a trip out of town to see Lalah Hathaway in Oakland, CA. I kept the entire trip a secret – and even arranged it with his boss to pick him up for “lunch” when in actuality, we were headed to the airport. I was shocked at how many people were surprised I went to such lengths for my husband. I thought to myself, why not? He works hard, takes care of his family, and always puts us first. Why not do something out of the ordinary and give the man a break?
The idea of romance has us socially conditioned to believe that its one-sided, and happens when a man bestows it on a woman. From the first date it is the expectation that the man will pay for almost everything throughout the entirety of the courtship. In marriage, it is assumed that the man will also be the breadwinner for the family. This practice has evolved into a new trend of thinking in the new millennium man and affects new millennium dating. Dating is sometimes misconstrued as “payment” for something else – so if a man takes you out and buys you a nice dinner, he is going to expect something at the end.
While thinking about this idea, I caught one of my favorite episodes of The Boondocks, entitled “Guess Ho’s Coming To Dinner” – and I literally laughed out loud as Riley hit the nail on the head when discussing Granddad dating an actual “ho”:
How do relationships evolve from this scenario? Are women still wooed and courted? What are men expecting at the end of a date and further, how many women are fulfilling these expectations? If you don’t, what happens next?
Folks tell me, does romance still exist?