Tag: monogamy

Where does the hunger and yearning for monogamy come from? We have this social construction of monogamy that has been developing throughout the years thanks to movies, music, and books. That is, we as a society have developed an understanding of what is/isn’t and what should/shouldn’t be in relationships.

Why do we want monogamy? Why do we want to be committed to just one person? When we talk about marriage we’re talking about being with one person for the rest of your life. God forbid you marry in your twenties – with the average life expectancy being 78, that’s being committed to one person for 50 years! I have a hard enough time deciding on what cell phone I should purchase with a new two-year contract. During those two years I’ve committed to one phone, that is until I find one that’s better or seems better and eventually change before those two years are up. Maybe in life we settle because choosing a mate isn’t as easy as choosing a cell phone or two years, or maybe we just get tired of changing.

When we were little we were always taught to learn to share. Why can’t we learn to share in relationships? Have we learned to share so much that in a relationship with a significant other we don’t want to share?

I don’t have the answers nor do I have a particular stance on any of these questions. If you’re married, engaged, dating, single or widowed ask yourself: can you find the joy you have with your significant other with them and another?

I’m 19, I’m trying to find myself and my understanding in this dating world by asking this questions that challenge the norm. I want people to read this and think “Why did I get married? Why am I in this relationship? Why do I want a relationship?” Be honest with yourself and be honest in your comments. After all, Black Is is a comfortable place to learn, teach, and grow.