A Disloyalty to my Race

A young African American woman was accepted into the University of Southern California. One thing she does look forward to when she starts at her new school, as any girl would, would be the different market of men on the USC campus. The African American males at her previous college made rude catcalls as she walked across campus, called each other “niggas” and did not attend their classes. What woman wants that? Attending USC will be a game changer simply because she’ll be around guys with a sense of direction and educational focus. The only problem is that these educational driven men at USC aren’t all black. While her preference in men has always been African American, there are only a handful of them that aren’t athletes at USC, the majority being Caucasian and Asian. If she were to walk down to Starbucks with her Caucasian, Asian, or even Hispanic boyfriend she meets at USC, is she being disloyal to her race?
The reality of the situation for African American women in college is that most men in our race are not exactly striving for educational success. Single black women with college degrees outnumber single black men with college degrees almost 3 to 1 in major urban areas such as Washington, according to a 2008 population survey by the U.S. Census Bureau. Where does that leave single, educated African American women? Waiting. While young black women continue to excel and hang out with their girlfriends, they are still waiting on the “good” black man to come with the same educational level and marry them.
As African American young woman, I see a problem with this equation. Black women dating interracially should not equal disloyalty. We should not be discouraged from dating interracially if there is not anyone who looks like her with not only goals but the drive and effort to make something out of themselves. Although there are some black males who have an education and there are women who have found those males, this doesn’t mean a woman should be forced to wait for them to appear, especially if there are not a lot to begin with. When 73% of interracial marriages were between black men and white women in the past decade according to the population survey in 2008, black women who decide to date out of their race should not only be culturally accepted but encouraged if the heart desires. Ultimately, it’s about young black women celebrating themselves. When men are not up to our standards, we shouldn’t lower them or compromise, but stay strong. Just like any other women, young, black and educated women deserve men who will love them despite the skin color.
If the young African American woman is walking to Starbucks with her Caucasian boyfriend on the USC campus, is she being disloyal to her race? No, she is not. It’s not like she did not attempt to seek out African American males at either schools. Both pools of African American male college student were either rude, had no home training, or no real aspiration, or were slim to none as far as population is considered. When I start USC in the next couple of months, I am aware of the handful of students that will look like me when I walk across campus. Although the dating market for African American men will be pretty slim, like on most California university campuses, I feel no pressure to date within my race. I celebrate myself as a young black women who deserves someone who respects and likes me despite my complexion.

Shhh….What Conversations Can’t You Have With Your Spouse? (PODCAST)

In the episode of the Black Is Break, KC and the family discuss what information is off-limits in a marriage or relationship. Podcast guests include Chris Lehman, Malcolm Darrell, John and Triawna Wood, and special guests Rod and Karen, from The Black Guy Who Tips podcast.

If you have comments or questions about this episode, feel free to call our hotline at (323) 455-4219. Enjoy!

PODCAST: Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

Join KC and the family as they discuss the book-turned-film, Act Like a Lady, Think Like A Man and whether or not that dating advice is applicable to modern-day Black singles. Podcast guests include Chris Lehman, Toria Williams, and Darius Gray.

Got an opinion on this week’s topic? Call our hotline and leave a message about today’s show! You can reach us at (323) 455-4219!

PODCAST: Dickmatized

Join KC and the family as they discuss the importance of sex in a relationship. Guests include Chris Lehman, Toria Williams, John C. Byrd III of Sickly Cat Magazine, John and Triawna Wood, and Ivy Lindsey. This podcast also features a special guest segment by The Player Hater.

Got an opinion on this week’s topic? Call our hotline and leave a message about today’s show! You can reach us at (323) 455-4219!

Excuse all of the background noise this episode (babies, doorbells). We are real people!

PODCAST: Platonic Relationships Part III

Listen in as KC and the family discuss the challenges of maintaining platonic friendships after marriage. Guests include Chris Lehman, Toria Williams, Dino Black, John C. Byrd III of Sickly Cat Magazine, Obinna Obijiaku, Craig Stewart, John and Triawna Wood, and Ivy Lindsey. This episode also includes a special guest segment with The Player Hater. Enjoy!

Are You Financially Ready To Move In Together?

Moving in together as a couple is more than deciding who gets the “good side” of the bed and finding the best spot to stash the PlayStation.

Not only will you be sharing household bills and probably setting up joint bank account, but you’ll also get up close and personal with your partner’s money demons for the first time.

“A husband or wife,  even a boyfriend or a girlfriend, is not a financial plan,” says Dr. Taffy Wagner, CEO of  Money Talk Matters. “We’ve seen  enough drama on Court TV shows.”

As a certified personal finance educator and author of Bride and Groom Money Talk FAQ, Wagner’s an expert on all things relationships and finances.

Before you start building a bigger closet, make sure you’re both ready to merge your finances by checking for these six signs:

1. You can talk money without arguing. Per Wagner: “When you can openly discuss finances without arguing and blaming the other person when there is a financial issue,” you’re on the right track. “The people in this situation would also be able to discuss a financial issue and reach a viable solution that is best for the overall relationship.”

2. You don’t feel controlled. So long as your partner isn’t peering over your shoulder each time you whip out the checkbook and you feel like you have equal ownership of your shared finances, you should be in good shape. “In some relationships money is used to control the other person,” Wagner says. “People do not like to be controlled, let alone using money to do it.” (It’s also a great way to wreck your relationship.)

3. You’ve both taken a good look at the other’s credit report. Forget sharing toothbrushes—forking over your credit history is a huge sign of financial trust in a relationship. It’s unavoidable, especially if you’re looking to buy or rent a home together, and a good place to get equal footing. “T he  couple has to decide whether or not their place of residence will be in  the name of both or just one person,” Wagner says. “Sharing the credit reports will  remove the ‘hidden element’ of potentially one person not having good  credit and that impacting the other person.”

4. You’re both paying the bills on time. If you don’t have to worry about your partner missing the cable bill, it’s a good sign he or she would make a great roommate. “If  one person is not paying their bills on time; have the discussion as to  why they are not and what is their game plan for getting back on track,” Wagner says. “If  they do not have a game plan for getting on track – that should be seen as a red flag and you should delay moving in together.

5. You don’t break out in a cold sweat when talking about the future. ” Knowing for  sure if you are compatible requires taking time to get to know each other  with friends, family and away from them,” Wagner says. “You need to make sure that the  other person is not just pretending. What do you both think about saving  money? What are each other’s plan for retirement?”

6. When you both know how to handle the worst. “ Ask the  person how they handled their last financial challenge. Did they run to  their parents? Did they get an advance at their job? Or did they  re-evaluate their spending, make adjustments and get it cleared up?” Wagner says. The answer will clue you into what kind of support you can expect if you ever run into a tight spot and need a partner to lean on.


Source: Yahoo

10 Things Women Do That Turn Men Off

Hey Folks-

Here’s another new vlog series we are bringing you in 2012! Introducing the first installment of The Real Deal With Dino Black. Today’s topic is his answer to T Time!: 10 Things Women Do That Turn Men Off.

Check back in with us weekly for more Black Is TV and the 2012 podcast season coming soon!

10 Things Men Do That Turn Women Off

Hey Folks-

This year we are adding a more multimedia experience to the site just for you! Introducing the first installment of T Time With Toria! starring BI podcast member Toria Williams. Today’s topic: 10 Things Men Do That Turn Women Off.

Check back in with us weekly for more Black Is TV and the 2012 podcast season!