In this episode KC, Chris, Tash, Carmen, Leisha, Toria, Chris #2, KJ and Lady J discuss abuse in relationships and against children, which is being pushed into the forefront by the NFL and its players. We touch on spanking vs beating, fear of carrying abuse into future relationships, being present in your kids daily lives, women as abusers, zero tolerance policy, a more agressive generation and more.
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T was under the weather so listen in as KC is joined by Kai Love and Letitia, the ladies of The Pisces Life podcast for part one of a two-part discussion! Topics include influential “brown girls”, domestic violence, and abuse in relationships.
Listen in to a special edition of the 10 Minute Break! Black Men Speak about parenting and discipline in response to the uncle who spanked his nephew and broadcasted it on YouTube and Facebook (see below). Podcast guests include Chris Lehman, Tash Moseley, Ahshawn James (Mr. CEO), Yohance Serrant of MERC80.com, Aaron Wilson, and Troy Moore.
While African Americans managed to emerge from chattel slavery and the oppressive decades that followed with great strength and resiliency, they did not emerge unscathed. Slavery produced centuries of physical, psychological and spiritual injury. Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome: America’s Legacy of Enduring Injury and Healing lays the groundwork for understanding how the past has influenced the present, and opens up the discussion of how we can use the strengths we have gained to heal.
‘When African-Americans accept the deprecating accounts and images portrayed by the media, literature, music and the arts as a true mirror of themselves, we are actually allowing ourselves to be socialized by a oppressive society.
Evidence of oppressive socialization can be readily seen when African-American children limit their aspirations’ It can be seen when we use the accumulation of material things as the measure of self-worth and success.
So, in spite of all our forbears who worked to survive and gain their freedom; in spite of the efforts of all those who fought for civil rights’ we are continually being socialized by this society to undervalue ourselves, to undermine our own efforts and, ultimately, to hate ourselves. We are raising our children only to watch America tear them down.’
This is a must read for seekers and searchers, for it will empower you. It will also enlighten people who have never had the opportunity to experience the oppression of slavery. I’m not talking about discrimination but Racism that erodes our very humanity. I’ve never felt so strongly about a book that I myself, have yet to read.
Last week, the following video went viral on the Internet:
The responses to this video that I came across ranged from, “That’s how I was disciplined” to “That’s child abuse – the uncle should be arrested”. This range got me to think about modern-day parenting.
My husband and I both were raised in households that disciplined by spanking. However, neither of us had parents that ever disciplined us unnecessarily, or to the point of abuse. When we had our son we agreed he would be disciplined the same way – no second thought about it. It worked for our parents and kept up both in line, so why wouldn’t it work for our son?
However, I think about all of the students I’ve encountered in my years as an educator, and specifically the ones who stick out in my mind as having discipline problems. Every child isn’t fortunate enough to have two parents at home and for some, their parents are more like friends. A lot of parents would rather not hit their children and use the “time out” method for discipline. Many have had success going this route, but every child doesn’t respond to that method. More than once I’ve seen a student speak to their parent as if they were equals, talking back and even cursing. Furthermore, more children are quick to pick up the phone and call Children’s Services on their parents if spanked. It never occurred to me that I could have these reactions with my parents, as they instilled a healthy dose of fear in me through discipline at an early age. By the time I was double digits, spankings were no longer necessary.
Have parents gone soft on today’s children? What is the fine line between discipline and abuse?