How to Tell Your Friend She Looks a MESS!

Fashion & Beauty, Featured, In My Opinion

Ladies, let’s be real. We all have a friends that wear clothes that are too tight/too short, makeup looks like Halloween, or wears a weave that you see every track. We can not let this go on! The great debate between girlfriends is always “am I a bad friend if I tell her” or “am I a bad friend if I don’t tell her?” The answer is the latter.
Let’s go over some ways to break the news to friends with out losing the friendship:
  • Choose your approach: You have to know your friend. If you can have a sit down and just say what’s on your mind and she will take it in the best way possible, great. If not, you may have to find a softer approach.
  • The Proof: Do you have pictures or videos that you can show her as evidence of the hot mess? Show her casually and laugh about how you both have come so far with your looks. Slide in some things that you do to keep your look fresh.
  • Find the root: Is it lack of knowledge? Maybe she just doesn’t know how put herself together. If it is an issue of knowledge, ask her if she has ever been shown what a good makeup application should look like. Suggest your hairstylist and book appointments together so that you can guide her through the process.
  • Style Police: If you are about to go out and your friend has something tacky on make a joke about how people will wonder if you are her friend if you let her wear that. Often you can make one or two changes to the outfit to make it suitable.
  • Assess the confidence: Our outward appearance is often a sign of how we feel about ourselves inside. If you detect issues of low self-esteem be sure to use the sandwich method. For every negative thing you have to tell her slide it in between two positive things.
  • Last resort: If you can’t bring yourself to tell her, resolve to just love her through the embarrassment and move on. Nothing superficial is worth losing a true friend.

Mikki Bey is a Los Angeles-based makeup artist who believes in the power of the universe to bring her all the desires of her heart. Fearless, determined and capable – she’s a bad mamajama! She can be reached at

One Comment on "How to Tell Your Friend She Looks a MESS!"

  1. Nika Aug 2, 2011 · 11:20 pm

    Well I dont have any friends at the moment (I had to cut some folks off and can’t be bothered with building new friendships–right right now)…But anyway….

    I wouldn’t say anything unless it was absolutely necessary (maybe mention the track, and not the fitting or makeup). I’m becoming a more open/accepting person–so I can have more positive experiences in life. And in doing that, over time I have trouble on gauging who I am and who other people are. Basically, sometimes, it can be hard to your separate personal taste from other peoples. I don’t know I’m to scared to tear down people’s individuality, because I’ve made changes in the past couple years that I thought were not cool years ago. Maybe to today i don’t like something, 4 months from now it could be hot.

    However, Kc, after listening to the various pod casts on this site, you seem seasoned (with words) enough not to offend someone.

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