FEAR of A White Dress! (Women and Marriage) UPDATE!!

So I was watching the BET awards over the weekend and I noticed an alarming trend. All these beautiful, strong, talented, gifted, and smart…single moms, unmarried women having children. My mother-in-law said that in this day and age, there is no such thing as an accidental pregnancy. How is it that we (and our young girls), respect and look up to the likes of Alicia Keys? If you saw the headline, Pop Star Sleeps With Newly Divorced Man And Gets Pregnant! What would your response be to that? Where are the women that liked getting swept off their feet and invest in marriage before they have babies!? Now, I’m not judging Alicia Keys’ actions; she is an adult and a human being, which makes her not perfect by any means, but this is just how I view the situation. And it sparks the question: Are Black Women more fearful of marriage and commitment than Black men?

UPDATE!! UPDATE!! UPDATE!!

Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats announced late Tuesday evening that they’re engaged, and that the Grammy-winning singer is expecting the couple’s first child together.

The news might have been a surprise to some: Keys is an R&B/pop superstar who has performed at President Barack Obama’s inauguration, while Swizz (real name: Kasseem Dean) is a Ruff Ryders alumnus and a veteran hip-hop producer who’s laced Jay-Z and DMX with some of their grittiest tracks.

But the musical couple have been dating for a couple of years, at least since 2008, when rumors of their union began to swirl — and recently whispers about the two ratcheted up when photos of Keys with what appeared to be a baby bump appeared online.

Here’s a timeline of the couple’s relationship:

» In 2008, music-industry insiders began buzzing about a pairing between Swizz — then married to R&B chanteuse Mashonda — and Keys, but the speculation turned public when gossip blog TheYBF.com published a post detailing their union, citing a source close to the singer.

» Later in 2008, Alicia Keys threw a surprise birthday party for the art-collecting producer (who by then was separated from his wife) at New York’s Guggenheim Museum. Although they wouldn’t appear in public together until the following year, the shindig solidified that the two were an item.

» In 2009, Swizz Beatz all but confirmed his relationship with Keys through a remix verse he added to Drake’s hit, “Best I Ever Had,” rapping, “She gave me a party at the Guggenheim … What’s next? The ring? The baby? She really loves me.”

» Throughout the year, Keys and Swizz (engaged in a messy divorce from Mashonda, including public spat on Twitter) were spotted together at a bevy of events, including his pre-Grammy Awards event, game three of World Series (where she performed alongside Jay-Z), and a swank Whitney Houston album preview event; the musical pair worked together to produce the Houston single “Million Dollar Bill.”

» This year, the duo have been frequently photographed together, both domestically and abroad; pics of Keys performing across the Atlantic caused a stir online as the singer’s loose-fitting clothing led many to believe she was hiding a baby bump.

» On Thursday, a spokesperson for the couple confirmed that they were engaged and are expecting their first child together. The baby will be her first and his third: The producer has two other children from previous relationships.

What do you think about Swizz Beats and Alicia Keys’ relationship? Let us know in the comments!

3 Comments on "FEAR of A White Dress! (Women and Marriage) UPDATE!!"

  1. Mrs.20SDJohnson10 Jul 3, 2010 · 12:14 am

    I think its good that Alicia and Kasseem found love. True love is hard to find. I wish them the greatest joy with their blessing.

  2. Delicia Jul 8, 2010 · 4:42 pm

    There are women out there like myself that still prefer to be romanced, swept off her feet and have the honor of wearing the “white dress” before planning a family!

    I believe that there are women out there who have given up on the true “gentleman”. We’ve been brainwashed into believing that there are no good men out there and the few that are available are either married, incarcerated or aren’t interested in the female persuasion (no disrespect).

    I recently listened to an interesting podcast on Sicklycat.com regarding dating. There is this overwhelming feeling or theory that “men ain’t sh*t!” I for one disagree! Like Katt Williams once said, “If you’re 25 years old, single and saying that men ain’t sh*t, then perhaps the men that YOU come across ain’t sh*t! Maybe you should check yourself and find out why your pu$$y is attracting sh*tty men!”

    I think the main thing is to know yourself and stick with your convictions! Do not compromise your character or your self respect because you are afraid to be alone!!! It is ok to take your time before you make a commitment to the right person! Let the man know up front what you stand for and not! Stick to it and mean it!! Do not be wishy washy. I believe that is why there are more women settling for terrible relationships!

  3. Michelle Aug 7, 2010 · 5:02 pm

    I don’t think that black women are afraid of marriage, I just think that it’s their defenses speaking out when they’re not sure if it’s going to happen or not. It used to be very taboo for a women to have a baby out of wedlock, but now that so many stars are doing it, it’s not so bad anymore. I say good for it all. People don’t need to get married to have a healthy relationship nor to have kids. I say do what works for you and never mind what other people say.

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